A Field Is Not A Home
On Tuesday night, I was dragged to Safeco Field with some co-workers and my boss. My boss lives in Montana and has a house full of girls at home, so when he comes in town, he wants to defile himself and have us chugging right next to him. I say I was dragged, not because I have any fear of liquid refreshment, but because I would be just as happy watching Project Runway repeats than go watch my team play half-hearted games that don't mean anything. I'm not a bandwagon guy, but I just can't sit there and watch Mike Hargrove make his Hargrove face (A mix between searching for the final Jeopardy question and massive constipation) while we drop another game to a near Triple-A team.
It wasn't all bad though. I was in one of the best stadiums in baseball, enjoying many well-crafted beers, and having some delicious gourmet food. Even sushi! It was at this moment that a theory formed about the Mariners'.
The theory goes as follows; The Mariners will continue to suck because of Safeco Field. How did I arrive at such a conclusion? Allow me.
Ask yourself this; Have you gone to a Mariners' game more often to watch the game or to go to Club Safeco? Did you watch the whole game, or did you take a cab in the sixth to Belltown? Until Safeco opened, I never went to a game to do anything but root on the Mariners (No matter how much I hated Jose Mesa) and stay until the bitter end. The Kingdome was a Godless realm of Middle Earth, but in being so, only true fans went and spent their money and dammit, they wanted results for their money.
Now, even thought we have a starting pitching staff full of Joe Tables, their is no place quite as fun to be as the beer garden of Safeco Field in August. Their aren't a lot of place guys can watch a sporting event, ogle sorority chicks in heels and mini-skirts, and get a phone number or two. It's like Summer Catch, that crappy Freddie Prinze Jr. movie, but every single female fan is Jessica Biel. Every guy would watch that movie! The stadium corrals that activity in center field, away from the throngs of families, who come because of the well-appointed concessions and friendly environment.
Money is spent, great surroundings and conversations, and a good time is had by all. Oh, by the way, Washburn got knocked out in the third after giving up a grand slam and Ichiro, Beltre, and Sexson combined for one hit and five strikeouts, with the Mariners losing 8-2. I leave with a buzz, a quick "Screw 'em" under my breath, and it's off to Ozzie's.
The stadium is too well built and too well planned for the good of Seattle sportsfans. Seattle is not the most die-hard of towns as it is, and now, the Mariners are staring their fourth straight 90-plus loss season in a row, and Forbes magazine ranks Seattle as the fourth most profitable team in the bigs over the last five years. Cue Lewis Black: "Is anybody fucking home?"
The Mariners are going to be terrible until Mariners fans decide enough is enough. The Mariners ownership get rich off our hard earned dollars, lucrative contracts with Japanese media, and they turn around and produce not-even-mediocre teams and ever worse commercials. The Mariners have lost touch with their fans and treat us with little true respect. Well, they aren't going to buy the cow when they get the milk for free. I propose a ban on Club Safeco and any side ventures to the stadium all together, until they sign some real talent and show a commitment to winning.
What is more likely however, instead of getting Jason Schmidt or Daisuke Matsusaka is that they'll announce Chipotle, Hooters, and Newcastle Brown Ale will all open concession stands next season, and I'll buy a 20 game pack.
It wasn't all bad though. I was in one of the best stadiums in baseball, enjoying many well-crafted beers, and having some delicious gourmet food. Even sushi! It was at this moment that a theory formed about the Mariners'.
The theory goes as follows; The Mariners will continue to suck because of Safeco Field. How did I arrive at such a conclusion? Allow me.
Ask yourself this; Have you gone to a Mariners' game more often to watch the game or to go to Club Safeco? Did you watch the whole game, or did you take a cab in the sixth to Belltown? Until Safeco opened, I never went to a game to do anything but root on the Mariners (No matter how much I hated Jose Mesa) and stay until the bitter end. The Kingdome was a Godless realm of Middle Earth, but in being so, only true fans went and spent their money and dammit, they wanted results for their money.
Now, even thought we have a starting pitching staff full of Joe Tables, their is no place quite as fun to be as the beer garden of Safeco Field in August. Their aren't a lot of place guys can watch a sporting event, ogle sorority chicks in heels and mini-skirts, and get a phone number or two. It's like Summer Catch, that crappy Freddie Prinze Jr. movie, but every single female fan is Jessica Biel. Every guy would watch that movie! The stadium corrals that activity in center field, away from the throngs of families, who come because of the well-appointed concessions and friendly environment.
Money is spent, great surroundings and conversations, and a good time is had by all. Oh, by the way, Washburn got knocked out in the third after giving up a grand slam and Ichiro, Beltre, and Sexson combined for one hit and five strikeouts, with the Mariners losing 8-2. I leave with a buzz, a quick "Screw 'em" under my breath, and it's off to Ozzie's.
The stadium is too well built and too well planned for the good of Seattle sportsfans. Seattle is not the most die-hard of towns as it is, and now, the Mariners are staring their fourth straight 90-plus loss season in a row, and Forbes magazine ranks Seattle as the fourth most profitable team in the bigs over the last five years. Cue Lewis Black: "Is anybody fucking home?"
The Mariners are going to be terrible until Mariners fans decide enough is enough. The Mariners ownership get rich off our hard earned dollars, lucrative contracts with Japanese media, and they turn around and produce not-even-mediocre teams and ever worse commercials. The Mariners have lost touch with their fans and treat us with little true respect. Well, they aren't going to buy the cow when they get the milk for free. I propose a ban on Club Safeco and any side ventures to the stadium all together, until they sign some real talent and show a commitment to winning.
What is more likely however, instead of getting Jason Schmidt or Daisuke Matsusaka is that they'll announce Chipotle, Hooters, and Newcastle Brown Ale will all open concession stands next season, and I'll buy a 20 game pack.
posted by Justin Graden at 6:01 PM
1 Comments:
Project Runway reruns rule.
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