John Madden Hates Me
I'm typically not a superstitious person. I do step on cracks in pavement, I don't knock on wood, but when it comes to sports, I have a few. I hadn't worn my purple Huskies visor since the Rose Bowl season and the Huskies had never lost a game I'd been at when I wore it. I decided to take it out of retirement this year, simply because I had a feeling.
The result? A 3-1 record and that feeling has been rewarded with the visor remaining undefeated. I now have it under armed guard and insured by Lloyd's of London. How else can you explain a 2-9 team rebounding this way? Good coaching and a productive offseason? Please. This has everything to do with Husky mojo settling directly on the salt stain on the bill of my Nike visor. You're welcome.
This same "feeling" I had right before my fantasy draft. It was as certain as Jack Bauer. So, I knew that if I pulled the first pick in the draft, there was no way I would draft Shaun Alexander.
Dammit.
Against all logic, common sense, and tarot card readings, I went with my heart and picked the 2005 NFL MVP and gave myself a Seahawk to root for all year long. Alexander has, before last year, been dogged by questions about his work ethic, running style, blocking, and pass receiving. However, after last year's epic season, all those questions seemly evaporated like so many tears after the Super Bowl. It's like how everyone wants to welcome Whitney back with open arms now that she's divorcing Bobby, and we've just decided not to bring up the whole Crack thing. The pardon Alexander got from all those questions were in respect for his accomplishments and a silent, ominous cloud on the horizon.
The loser of the last five Super Bowls has failed to make the playoffs the following season. It seemed to many that continuing to raise these pertinent questions would just add fuel to what looked like an inescapable fire. There is also the question of how Alexander would respond after signing his record long-term contract. He played like a man possessed last year, but was it just for the contract? Steve Hutchinson is gone and how would the O-line respond? However, the bad signs are easily mitigated.
The Hawks play in possibly the worst division in the NFL and could possibly make the playoffs with an 8-8 record. Qwest Field is the toughest place to play in the NFL and the Hawks have only lost one regular season game ever in the building. Alexander no longer has the distraction of worrying about the contract, so he can focus solely on getting back to the Super Bowl. Hutch was replaced by a guy who was going to be last year's starting right tackle before he got injured and has a first-rounder as a backup. These are all great reasons why Alexander, while he might not break records, will still be one of the elite players in the league.
However, I ignored the one real truth of the NFL. More than the Texans will suck, and Fred Taylor will get injured, the Madden Curse will kill you.
Shaun Alexander is on this year's edition of the Madden NFL video game, the virtual bible for dorks everywhere. The Madden Curse has made its cover boys the most disappointing stars of the league for that year. This goes back to 1999 when Barry Sanders retired out of nowhere and continued to last year when Donovan McNabb got a hernia and had to watch as the Eagles finished 6-10. It hasn't skipped a year since '99 and it devours anyone within six degrees of it. You have a better chance of cooking Tony Soprano johnnycakes in leather chaps and coming out alive than of escaping the Madden Curse.
I chose to go with my gut and not my head, and as Lloyd Dobler would say, "You know what? My guts have shit for brains." My fantasy season is essentially done, which really pisses me off, because now I have to hear it from all my buddies for the rest of the year, including the inevitable, "Oh Graden, I've been meaning to tell you... I've got Shaun's foot in my trunk. Do you want it?"
Alexander was already off to a bad start and Mo Morris looked better when he was in anyway, so I think the Seahawks will be fine. Perhaps better. Obiviously, the offense will be much more reliant on Hasselbeck and the passing game, but he's beginning to resemble Joe Montana. Crisp timing passes, superb field management, strong leadership, and an uncanny feel for the game. I still like the Hawks to go 12-4.
Now, Shaun will be back in a month and will play most of the season. That is unless the Madden Curse decides it hasn't gotten enough blood. I mean, a cracked bone in the foot really isn't as sexy as total leg break a la Michael Vick. In Week 13 at Denver, look for Alexander to break his shoulder when frogs begin falling from the sky. I'm just saying, I wouldn't be surprised.
Now, I've got a cold that could choke a donkey and I have no one to start in Shaun's place in fantasy. If the Huskies blow it in Tucson, I'm going stingray hunting. Happy trails.
The result? A 3-1 record and that feeling has been rewarded with the visor remaining undefeated. I now have it under armed guard and insured by Lloyd's of London. How else can you explain a 2-9 team rebounding this way? Good coaching and a productive offseason? Please. This has everything to do with Husky mojo settling directly on the salt stain on the bill of my Nike visor. You're welcome.
This same "feeling" I had right before my fantasy draft. It was as certain as Jack Bauer. So, I knew that if I pulled the first pick in the draft, there was no way I would draft Shaun Alexander.
Dammit.
Against all logic, common sense, and tarot card readings, I went with my heart and picked the 2005 NFL MVP and gave myself a Seahawk to root for all year long. Alexander has, before last year, been dogged by questions about his work ethic, running style, blocking, and pass receiving. However, after last year's epic season, all those questions seemly evaporated like so many tears after the Super Bowl. It's like how everyone wants to welcome Whitney back with open arms now that she's divorcing Bobby, and we've just decided not to bring up the whole Crack thing. The pardon Alexander got from all those questions were in respect for his accomplishments and a silent, ominous cloud on the horizon.
The loser of the last five Super Bowls has failed to make the playoffs the following season. It seemed to many that continuing to raise these pertinent questions would just add fuel to what looked like an inescapable fire. There is also the question of how Alexander would respond after signing his record long-term contract. He played like a man possessed last year, but was it just for the contract? Steve Hutchinson is gone and how would the O-line respond? However, the bad signs are easily mitigated.
The Hawks play in possibly the worst division in the NFL and could possibly make the playoffs with an 8-8 record. Qwest Field is the toughest place to play in the NFL and the Hawks have only lost one regular season game ever in the building. Alexander no longer has the distraction of worrying about the contract, so he can focus solely on getting back to the Super Bowl. Hutch was replaced by a guy who was going to be last year's starting right tackle before he got injured and has a first-rounder as a backup. These are all great reasons why Alexander, while he might not break records, will still be one of the elite players in the league.
However, I ignored the one real truth of the NFL. More than the Texans will suck, and Fred Taylor will get injured, the Madden Curse will kill you.
Shaun Alexander is on this year's edition of the Madden NFL video game, the virtual bible for dorks everywhere. The Madden Curse has made its cover boys the most disappointing stars of the league for that year. This goes back to 1999 when Barry Sanders retired out of nowhere and continued to last year when Donovan McNabb got a hernia and had to watch as the Eagles finished 6-10. It hasn't skipped a year since '99 and it devours anyone within six degrees of it. You have a better chance of cooking Tony Soprano johnnycakes in leather chaps and coming out alive than of escaping the Madden Curse.
I chose to go with my gut and not my head, and as Lloyd Dobler would say, "You know what? My guts have shit for brains." My fantasy season is essentially done, which really pisses me off, because now I have to hear it from all my buddies for the rest of the year, including the inevitable, "Oh Graden, I've been meaning to tell you... I've got Shaun's foot in my trunk. Do you want it?"
Alexander was already off to a bad start and Mo Morris looked better when he was in anyway, so I think the Seahawks will be fine. Perhaps better. Obiviously, the offense will be much more reliant on Hasselbeck and the passing game, but he's beginning to resemble Joe Montana. Crisp timing passes, superb field management, strong leadership, and an uncanny feel for the game. I still like the Hawks to go 12-4.
Now, Shaun will be back in a month and will play most of the season. That is unless the Madden Curse decides it hasn't gotten enough blood. I mean, a cracked bone in the foot really isn't as sexy as total leg break a la Michael Vick. In Week 13 at Denver, look for Alexander to break his shoulder when frogs begin falling from the sky. I'm just saying, I wouldn't be surprised.
Now, I've got a cold that could choke a donkey and I have no one to start in Shaun's place in fantasy. If the Huskies blow it in Tucson, I'm going stingray hunting. Happy trails.
posted by Justin Graden at 2:49 PM
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