Let's Play Snow Balls!

How goes it everyone? A million my bads for the excruciating delays in the updates on the blog and I hope this will bring my loyal fan base (Hi Dad) off of the ledge. Interruption in bringing you all of your irrelevant sports blog needs were unavoidable, as I was forced to go on vacation, moved into a new place, and spent a solid month in Western State Hospital with a critical case of March Madness. However, I'm back and now I get to start ripping the Mariners a new one! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

So the Mariners are sucking agai...

Wait, they've got a winning record? They got snowed out four straight days? THEY'RE IN FIRST PLACE???

Well, if this wasn't the most unpredictable beginning since the original Scream. The Mariners started the season by winning a series over the A's, a team they beat twice all of last year. Before the year, this was as likely a scenario as Ari and Lloyd getting frisky on Entourage. It just goes to show you what a team can really achieve by signing can't miss stars like Jose Vidro, Jeff Weaver, and Miguel Batista. Yikes.

Then came the now infamous series in Cleveland. The Browns and the Seahawks were set to square off in the frozen tundra of Jacobs Field, when a funny thing happened. It started snowing and didn't stop until two feet piled up. In April. I'm not saying Al Gore's got some 'splaining to do, but geez.

However, the most underplayed story of the season happened during the first game of that series, where Mike Hargrove made his only championship move as a manager ever. He got the umpires to stop the game. In the first game of the series, the Mariners were losing 4-0 in the fifth inning. Not just that, they were getting no hit. Not just that, it had been snowing all game. The Mariners were one strike from being out of the 5th and the game being official. Mike Hargrove calls time and summons all the strength in his body not to make a snow drunk, and complains to the umpire that the Mariners can't see the ball. Now, this might have been legit in the 3rd inning, but with one strike left there's no way the umpire is going to agree to this. While Hargrove is begging and pleading his case, it suddenly starts to come down heavier than the dandruff of a shopping mall Santa. The ump laughs, shakes his head, and calls off the game. Amazing.

In his playing days, Hargrove was called the Human Rain Delay, because he took so long in between pitches to get back in the batter's box. I'm starting a petition to change his nickname to Old Man Winter. That was just a classic moment of Mariners history in my book.

Then, off to Boston, where King Felix spoiled Dice-K's debut and damn near no-hit the Sox. I'm just going to say it; Felix looks like Roger Clemens. That slider is unhittable. It burrows into the ground the way I wish Carlos Mencia would. I haven't watched a baseball game in years where it was blatantly obvious that the hitters were flat guessing.

Tack on taking 2 of 3 from Texas this weekend and the Mariners are the only team in the AL West above .500 and in first place. Wow, I nearly blacked out writing that last sentence.

Settle down, Mariner faithful! Please get off of the phone with Ticketmaster! This is fleeting. This too shall pass. I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you all this, but my God, this is the Mariners. Ladies and Gentlemen, batting 3rd, Jose Vidro! I thought he retired 5 years ago. Maybe that was just his talent. I don't know. Jeff Weaver has looked like a truck driver without equilibrium so far this year, which is fantastic if Britney Spears is horny, but not if you need him to keep a team in first place of the AL West.

One of the true bright spots that has caught my eye has been Kenji Johjima lighting up opposing pitching. He's hitting .476 so far and has been a wonderful example of what the Mariners management strategy is hoping; That every person on the freaking roster has a career year. The Mariners went on the cheap again this year in free agency and hired guys that they hope pan out. It's a nice start and let's hope the momentum can help inspire a change, but it doesn't help with a talent void. With this kind of intelligence running the club, it's a good thing we've got a manager who can get games cancelled.

Dear Spencer

Dear Spencer Hawes,

You don't know me. We've never met and I've only seen you play in person once. I'm also not a basketball expert; I am merely a Husky alum with a casually read sports blog. You may take all of this letter with that grain of salt in mind, but I wanted to write to implore you to return to UDub next season.

I'm not going to win you over by making any argument about money. You are a first round pick. Guaranteed money. Financial security for the rest of your life. Patrick O'Bryant was taken 9th overall last year. A similar type player, Bryant is a 7-0 center, slightly undersized, with good outside touch. O'Bryant signed a two year deal with Golden State with a club option for the second two years. 3.56 million for each year. You figure that the price goes up for you because of standard inflation and the fact that you are much more skilled than he and going up to 4 million a year is probably legit. So, 8 million dollars and two years guaranteed. Not bad. With the right investments, that seed money could provide you with a life of comfort by itself.

Now, I'm not going to win any argument about money, but let me see if I can put a dent in it. Coming back next year will put your health and long-term security back into question. I can't help that, just the facts. However, if you do come back and continue to improve, you will be a lone wolf in next year's draft. While you project as a similar player to Greg Oden, Kevin Durant, Brandan Wright, Julian Wright, Roy Hibbert, Jeff Green, Joakim Noah, Al Hortford, and Hasheem Thabeet, next year's draft is shaping up to be short on big men. Tyler Hansborough appears to be the only elite big man returning to school next year and his skill set doesn't come close to yours. You will be THE elite post player in next year's draft. Since 1997, the top big man in the draft has been taken number one, with the exception of Lebron, and dude's 6-8. Conceivably, should your game continue to improve and you put on 20-25 pounds of muscle, which I'm sure you're already at work on, Spencer, you will be the number one pick in the draft. Andrea Bargnani was made the top pick by Toronto last year and signed a two year contract with a club option for two more years. Bargnani makes 7.78 million per. 2 years, 15.56 million guaranteed.

Double the money if you come back. It's a thought.

But I don't think money is what drives you. Like I said, I don't know you, but you're a competitor. You're fiery on the court and it seems that there is no where else you'd rather be. I don't think you want to be good; I think you want to be the best. And I think you know that the NBA draft is littered with cautionary tales of prospects coming out too early. Big men especially seem to fall pray to this. Even number one overall pick Kwame Brown. You don't improve faster by sitting in the pros, you improve by playing anywhere. And that anywhere is Washington. Ask Brandon Roy. Tim Duncan stayed all four years. Elton Brand three. One more year of improvement will cement your game and allow you to play meaningful, competitive minutes in the NBA your rookie year. I cannot believe that you'd be happy sitting for most of an 82 game season, despite the cash in your pocket.

However, as a fan, I want you to know that whatever your decision, we were damn lucky and glad to have you. I know that Husky pride runs deep within you, the familial connections to the school have been well documented. I wonder if that pride may be what you heard from that the voice in the back of your head, keeping you from hiring an agent.
I wonder if you don't want your one year as a Husky to be a year where the team didn't even make the NIT.
I wonder if playing with your buddy Brock and becoming one of the elite frontlines in Pac-10 history is something that you think about with each no-look you throw each other in pickup games.
I wonder if you want number 10 in the rafters at Hec Ed for eternity.
I wonder if March Madness kept you up at night, seeing USC go so far.
I wonder if you wonder what means the most to you, to your heart and soul.

Spencer, go to the camps and play against the others the teams will pick from. Play your best. Play like a Husky. And when all of the evaluations are through, think about Hec Ed, the Dawgpack, and your love for the school. Think about these, and then make the right decision, whichever it may be. Thank you for your time, Spencer.

Sincerely,
TheUglySpectator.blogspot.com